When an Empath goes to the vet

I will never forget the first time I was told I was an empath. I was in San Francisco sightseeing with my husband at Pier 39. We were approached by a lady with wild red hair and the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. She asked for a cigarette but didn’t wait for an answer. She started chatting about her life in such a rapid manner it was difficult to keep up. Suddenly she asked me to lift up my glasses, which I did. To be honest I was starting to feel a little nervous because we had a frightening experience the night before and I hadn’t fully shaken that feeling. When I raised my glasses, she stepped back and said “holy f*ck you’re an empath “.

It caught me off guard because while I’d heard the word before I didn’t have an understanding of what it meant. Her words and the passion with which she spoke them stuck with me. That night I started to research the meaning of being an empath. It shook me to my core. I always knew growing up I was “different” from other people. I cried when I saw suffering because I could feel it. People would tell me I was too sensitive and I needed to develop a thicker skin or the world would devour me. I would go to the grocery store and random people would tell me their life’s story, and I would muse about why that always happened. The lady with wild red hair and deep blue eyes helped set me on a path of self discovery. What did she see in my eyes that led her to that conclusion? I’ve since spent years fine tuning my ability to navigate life and learning how to empathize with the pain of others without absorbing it myself. I have a particular weakness when it involves kids or animals. I suppose it’s the innocence that tears at me the most.

My dog Finn is undergoing weekly chemo and the clinic he goes to offers a number of different services, including emergency care. This week in the waiting room was a difficult one.

There was a beautiful big Great Dane who was in to get bloodwork and couldn’t stop shaking when a little dog started barking at him. He was the size of a horse but absolutely terrified of the scruffy little mutt who looked like he was made up out of dryer lint.

There was the man who carried in his beautiful Rottweiler because he couldn’t walk. I lost my Rottie last year and I know a torn ACL when I see it. My heart ached for what the dog was going through, and what his dad was likely about to learn.

There was an older man who was carrying his tiny little elderly dog in his arms. He told the vet tech the dog was too lazy to walk but everyone could see the poor pup wasn’t going to make it. The connection between that man and his wee best friend was visible and knowing he was probably going to leave the building without his best friend made my heart hurt.

Those were tough to watch and I admit I did absorb their pain. I had to force myself to notice the other pets that were there. The orange cat patiently waiting in the fully windowed cat room for his people to come get him. I know he was silently judging everyone, as any self respecting cat would do.

The little chihuahua who left with the smallest cast I’ve ever seen on his leg. He’s going to be okay because the lady that belongs to him loves him so much.

The big golden mastiff who just got a clean bill of health and was going home to celebrate with his family. He had the squishiest face with a sloppy tongue and I could tell he was well loved.

It has been said that to be an empath is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing part is the ability to connect on a level that is outside of most people’s understanding, with humans, animals, and nature as a whole. I see beauty in things other people walk past.

I provide water for the birds, bees and butterflies. I pick up spiders and put them outside. I set up shelters for the toads who help keep the balance in my garden. These simple acts bring me joy. I don’t need expensive vacations or fancy things. That is truly a blessing.

The curse part? That’s a work in progress, especially lately with the state of the world. I’ve found I need to have strict control over who and what I let in. I’ve learned to save all my big feelings for those who suffer, and I have big opinions on those who cause suffering.

I remain grateful to the blue eyed lady with the fierce red hair. It was a brief but deeply profound interaction that changed my life.

If you got all the way through this, you have my respect. Also you might be an empath with a patience for listening to other people’s stories.